will be the best month compare to others.
but this year, i think, this is the worst month (after what i have went thru this month)
being patience, making scarification, and giving forgiveness-sometimes not enough.
starting from the depression that i felt during raya's,
then when my close-friends forgot the most important day in my life,
(where i already gave hint before we back home for holiday)
being 'apart' from people that i love,
couldn't meet my girlfriends,
burdening with internal problems and other people problem.
everything just making me gloomy and stressed.
i hate being hateful person to someone who i love and care,
i hate being rude to people that i know i
i hate being fierce to innocent kids.
i'm sorry what i have done.
i know changing myself to 'monster' didnt solve any of my problems
but at least half of my sadness & anger is gone.
if you ask me what is problem? i also can't explain.
it just so hard people to understand.
but i can answer,who is the person that i hate the most now.
it is me. myself.
-thanks to friends who wish me birthday. at least i know i am someone in your life =)
-sorry and thanks to girlfriends, eventho they didn't know what act happen, but at least they try to understand my condition right now.
-i hope luck will be on my side after i write this ^.^
-pls no more 'happy belated birthday, qila!' IT'S HURT MORE if you just wish me because i'm telling you now. (